Quilliam Responds to ‘Attempted Coup’ card played by Government of Bangladesh 19 January 2012 because that is todays date

Quilliam Responds to ‘Attempted Coup’ card played by Government of Bangladesh
 19 January 2012

We would like to expresses our excitement to hear the Awami League government is alleging that it has foiled a military coup in Bangladesh. This is not a ruse to deflect attention from them banging up Islamists left, right and centre. It means we can jump up and down and pretend that we know what is going on. The coup is said to have occurred on 22 December 2011, but has only been announced today by the Bangladeshi authorities. We do not find anything dubious in the previous sentence. BDNews 24, a Bangladeshi website is quoted as saying that on 22nd December 2011, Major Li-Miffed, an alleged Hizb ut-Tahrir leaflet holder, farted in the general direction of the gloriously liberated Bangladesh government. In company I tell you.

Some Army fellow that we met at a terrorisation and intimidation conference has confirmed to Quilliam that they have very strong suspicions that the coup is the work of Hizb ut-Tahrir.  This is because secular power in Bangladesh can’t tell its arse from its elbows. Quilliam knows, because we used to be members, that Hizb ut-Tahrir printed a few leaflets and talked to some army people in Bangladesh. We don’t know anything about the constellation of Islamic valued movements and shakements in Bangladesh. This is a game of language and power. Who promotes the use of military coups to gain power? [ Oh that was you the British government in Jan 2007]
[insert incomprehensible anonymous quote to mimic empirical insight]
"(change would) normally be...by the Party seeking to access the military in order to take the authority...After this the military would be capable of establishing the authority of Islām [did you see what I did to that a ?. smugface]. Hence a coup d'etat would be the manifestation of a political change...”

The anonymous source goes on to say that that Hizb ut-Tahrir has been actively targeting Bangladesh since the mutiny of the Bangladesh Rifle unit in 2009, when over 70 military personnel and civilians were killed. See we don’t know anything about Bangladesh, it was called the Bangladesh Rifles and there has been no independent investigation of this. Impossible with a pro-India regime.

This attempted military coup follows the 2011 Pakistani military coup attempt that wasn’t really an attempt, more of a dinner party. This charade was pinned on Brigadier Ailing Khandahar and four other senior military officers, all of whom were announced by the Armed Forces spokesperson as having ties to Hizb ut-Tahrir because they were handed a leaflet after juma prayers and thought the political parties were rubbish..

The porous border between Bangladesh and India is one that is being monopolised by extremist groups such as Lashkar-e-Taiba, to recruit Islamist fighters to carry out attacks similar to those in Mumbai in 2008. I who am writing this, am a shameless bastard, because I know that Bangladeshis are routinely killed, beaten and bribed at the border. Maybe I should have passed this over to ‘Ed’ Hussain, but he’s in the US and is passing himself off as Assamese, if not white, cant remember.

Raam Pant Nob-Jawqi, our Native Informant Paki said

‘I have visited Bangladesh several times to chat my usual shit, self publicise and serve white power. I am therefore extremely proud to hear that the government is using my former group in its eyewash’.

This political charade follows the British Government’s reduction in Dhaka-based counter development tourism. We were planning to link up with those bad boys in CRAP and Gram Mean  to hijack local ideas like we did in Pakistan with that khudi propaganda.

We would like to finger some cash off the government, to spy on Muslims and annoy them please. East London here we come.

Norman Terawala, who is older than me said this highly general wishy-washy statement because you probably care about the oil and domination in the Middle East, and we all think we’re Arabs. Did I tell you the one about my ancestor...

‘This attempted coup is contrary to recent democratization trends witnessed in the Arab Uprisings, and Hizb ut-Tahrir appears to be ignoring the new realities in Egypt, Libya and Tunisia and other Arab Muslim majority countries. As such, Hizb ut-Tahrir and its narrative are no longer relevant to the masses of youth striving for a third way [ HT Tony and late Mu’ammar] between extremism and dictatorships [ Zzzzz, are we done yet?]’.

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